ACTUAL NEWSPAPER
HEADLINES - -REALLY!!
Submitted by Maureen,
("The View"), Sharon, Pennsylvania
"Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife
and Daughter"
Now that is really something!
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"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash,
Expert Says"
No crap, really? Ya think?
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"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down
Jaywalkers"
Now that's
taking things a bit far!
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"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"
No-good-for-nothing'
lazy so-and-so's!
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"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting
Defendant"
See if that works any
better than a fair trial!
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"War Dims Hope for Peace"
I can see where it
might have that effect!
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"If
Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"
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"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
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"Enfield (
London)
Couple Slain; Police Suspect
Homicide"
They may be on to
something!
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"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
You mean
there's something stronger than duct tape?
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"Man Struck By Lightning: Faces
Battery Charge"
He
probably IS the battery charge!
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"New Study of Obesity Looks for
Larger Test Group"
Weren't they fat
enough?!
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"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in
Spacecraft"
Why
beans are no longer stocked on spacecraft.
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"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks"
Do they taste like
chicken?
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"Local
High School Dropouts Cut
in Half"
Chainsaw Massacre all
over again!
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"Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot
Doctors"
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"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery;
Hundreds Dead"
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