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take me to some humor    Health pages on SeniorArk?    health tips   -   health links   -   medicare

Where can I find -- a great home -- in a great town --  for less than $50,000?


Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers start to goof around? Here are some of the rejects. 


My tire was thumping. 
I thought it was flat 

When I looked at the tire... 

I noticed your cat. 



   Heard your wife left you, 
How upset you must be. 

But don't fret about it... 

She moved in with me. 


Looking back over the years 

that we've been together, 

I can't help but wonder... 

'What the hell was I thinking?' 


Congratulations on your wedding day! 

Too bad no one likes your husband. 


how could two people as beautiful as you, 

Have such an ugly baby? 


I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. 

I never believed in Hell until I met you. 


Congratulations on your promotion. 
Before you go... 

Would you like to take this knife out of my back? 

You'll probably need it again.


Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! 

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )


When we were together, 
you always said you'd die for me. 

Now that we've broken up, 

I think it's time you kept your promise.


We have been friends for a very long time ... 

let's say we stop?


I'm so miserable without you, 

it's almost like you're here.


Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. 

Did you ever find out who the father was? 


Your friends and I wanted to do 

something special for your birthday. 

So we're having you put to sleep.


So your daughter's a hooker, 
and it spoiled your day. 

Look at the bright side, 

it's really good pay

thanks to Carol G., Gibsonia, PA

retirement housing on less than a shoestring

Go to HUNDREDS of items of Humor

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