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In case you needed further
proof that the human race
is doomed through
stupidity, here are some
actual label instructions
on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer --
Do
not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I
have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos --
You could be a winner! No
purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
 
On a bar of Dial soap --
"Directions: Use like
regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
On some Swanson frozen
dinners --
"Serving suggestion:
Defrost."
(but, it's just a
suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom) --
"Do
not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late,
huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread
Pudding --
"Product will be hot after
heating."
(..and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta
iron --
"Do
not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me
time?)
On Boot's Children Cough
Medicine --
"Do
not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this
medication."
(We could do a lot to
reduce the rate of
construction accidents if
we could just get those 5
year-olds with head-colds
off those bulldozers.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid --
"Warning: May cause
drowsiness."
(...I'm taking this
because???....)
On most brands of Christmas
lights -- "For
indoor or outdoor use
only."
(as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food
processor --
"Not to be used for the
other use."
(now, somebody out there,
help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts --
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines
packet of nuts --
"Instructions: Open packet,
eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
On a child's Superman
costume --
"Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I
blame the parents for this
one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw --
"Do
not attempt to stop chain
with your hands
or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a
lot of this happening,
somewhere?)
I don't even see the fork---
and what about those contents?
(I guess they had to be
with something. And to think,
it just looked like
sausages to me.) |
