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Congratulations!
You have found the most
comprehensive independent "over 50" site on the web!! You, or
someone you love, will benefit from:
www.SeniorARK.com
Thousands of valuable
Money-Saving Tips and Links
to help Seniors and Caregivers Survive retirement!
And it's FREE
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I need to
save money on Utilities
I need help as a Caregiver.
Who are you anyway ?
take me to
some humor Health pages on SeniorArk?
health tips -
health links -
medicare
Where can I find -- a great home -- in a great town -- for
less than $50,000?
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Where to live after Retirement
You can live in
Phoenix , Arizona
where.....
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you
found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the
hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never
leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food
5. You know that 'dry heat' is comparable to what hits
you in the face when you open your oven door.
6 The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE
YOU KIDDING ME??!!
You can Live in
California
where..
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to
buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your
driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood
block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell
them how
long
it will take
to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought
You can Live in
New York City
where...
1. You say 'the city' and expect everyone to know you
mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to
get from Columbus Circle to
Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3.
You think Central Park
is 'nature,'
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in
their own language makes you multilingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn.
;
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You can Live in
Minnesota
where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and
Tabasco
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than
eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost
winter, and construction.
You can Live in the
Deep South
where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. 'y'all' is singular and 'all y'all' is plural.
3. 'He needed killin'' is a valid defense.
4.
Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob , Jimmy Bob, Mary
Sue,
Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.
You can live in
Colorado
where..
1. You carry your $3 ,000 mountain
bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way
home and
he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a
pony tail.
You can live in the
Midwest
where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows
your name
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to
pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' on the
same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: 'Where's my
coat at?'
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you
say, 'It was different!'
AND You can live in
Florida
where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even
houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5 Cars in front of you are often driven by headless
people.
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